Chaotic Improbability
by ArtFreak101
Summary: Ranma has a Heart of Gold... leterally. Crossover fic.


DISCLAIMER:

As an author and a long time member of FanFiction dot net, I know that there are some lines you don't cross in terms of plots and story lines. There are some crossovers that just aren't done.

Let's hope I haven't just made one.

I own neither Ranma ½ nor the book it crosses over with.

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"'_And you'll never walk alone…'_ Impact minus five seconds, its been great knowing you guys, God bless…. _'You'll ne…ver…walk…alone!'"_

"I said," yelled Trillian, "does anyone know…"

The next thing that happened was a mind-mangling explosion of noise and light.

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And the next thing that happened after that was that the Heart of Gold continued on its way perfectly normally with a rather fetching redesigned interior. It was somewhat larger, and done out in delicate pastel shades of green and blue. In the center a spiral staircase leading know where in particular, stood in a spray of ferns and yellow flowers and next to it a stone sundial pedestal housed the main computer terminal. Cunningly deployed lighting and mirrors created the illusion of standing in a conservatory overlooking a wide stretch of exquisitely manicured garden. Around the periphery of the conservatory area stood marble topped tables on intricately beautiful wrought-iron legs. As you gazed into the polished surface of the marble the vague forms of instruments became visible, and as you touched them the instruments materialized instantly under you hands. Looked at from the correct angles the mirrors appeared to reflect all the required date dead outs, though it was far from clear where they were reflected from. In was in fact sensationally beautiful.

Relaxing in a wickerwork sun chair, Nabiki Tendo said, "What the hell happened?"

"Well, I was just fighting Ryoga, "said Ranma lounging by a small fish pool, "after Moouse accidentally threw that hallucinogenic powder in his eyes. I was trying to keep him away from all of you while he thrashed around his umbrella. Then he just took off running past us… and then…"

"But where are we?" said Kasumi, who was sitting on the spiral staircase, a nicely chilled Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster in her hand. She took a sip of the strange drink and smiled.

"Umm…" Said Ukyo, as all about them the mirrors suddenly showed them an image of a blighted landscape of an alien planet, which scooted along beneath them.

Nabiki leapt out of her seat.

"What happened to the Earth?!" She exclaimed.

"The Earth was destroyed by the Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council approximately four days, eight hours, twenty-six minutes plus ten seconds ago local Tokyo Earth time."

Everyone looked about wildly for the source of the voice before what it said hit them and pale faces showed through them all with exception.

"Hello! I'm the ships computer here for you listening pleasure. Please call me Eddie if it will help you relax."

After a silent moment, everyone turned towards to Kasumi, expecting an 'Oh My!' of exclamation from her.

However Kasumi seemed to be quite happy and content to sit there on the staircase and sip her drink.

"The Earth…" Nabiki began to shake slightly and latched onto the nearest sturdy object which happened to be Ranma. "All life on the planet…"

"Life… don't talk to me about life…" A depressed mechanical voice spoke from the corner of the room.

In the corner of the room, slumped against the wall, was a robot with a large head. "Oh God, I'm so depressed…" He droned.

Kasumi was next to the robot almost instantly, her drink still in her hand. She slung her free arm around the bipedal robot's shoulders and smiled at him.

"Don't worry Mr. Robot!" She told Marvin in all sincerity. "There's no reason to be depressed when we're all here with you!"

Marvin moved his head slowly, making it seem to all those watching that it took the robot a considerable amount of effort to do so.

His gaze seemed to settle on Kasumi's shoulder for a moment before it continued slowly to her eyes.

After a full minute of staring, Marvin asked, "Why do I suddenly find myself completely unable to say anything despairing or sarcastic toward you?"

"Umm, not really trying to change the subject or anything…" Cut in Ukyo, who was still looking at the monitor, "but is that a whale?"

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What of the others you say?

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Authur Dent lounged in the pink beach chair as the surf of the nearby ocean licked his feet.

His towel was wrapped around his neck. He'd stripped down to his knickers and was lapping up the sun.

Next to him a couple of five foot tall purple monkeys were playing relaxing soft music on steel drums while another one served him fine English tea with the milk poured in fist so it didn't become scalded.

He smiled.

"I should have hit that Improbability drive switch sooner."

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Zaphod Beeblebrox, Ford Prefect, and Trillian McMillan stood side by side as they looked around the frozen tundra of whatever planet they'd become situated to.

"Well…" Zaphod decided, "This sucks."

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"Well…"

":So…"

"Yeah…"

Ranma, Nabiki and Ukyo stood around one of the consoles and tried to think of what to do next. The Earth being destroyed and all kind of limited their options.

More so they were trying not to look at Kasumi as she hugged the strange depressing robot, who by appearances seemed to have cheered up somewhat.

They had no idea why, but deep down in their guy they knew it was somehow wrong for that robot to be anything but depressing.

Ukyo picked up a small electronic book from the floor and smiled at words DON'T PANIC which were written in big friendly letter on the cover.

Ranma's stomach growled.

"Umm, hey! Eddie was it?" He addressed the ships computer.

"Yep! What can I do you for?" The chirpy voice seemed to ooze pleasantness in a way that pleasantness shouldn't be able to ooze.

"Umm… yeah." Ranma stammered. Something about the over friendly computer was starting to worry him. "I'm kind of hungry. Do you know where the nearest restaurant is?"

The computer made a few clicking noises as though clicking its tong in thought.

"How about Milliways?" It asked.

Nabiki pushed at a few buttons that she suspected to be a star chart and navigation system. She smirked at having been right when an image appeared on the monitor of the system… or nebulae cloud they were in.

"Okay." She said. "Where's it located?"

"At the end of the Universe!"

FIN

Authors Note: While it would be fun to continue this, the world of Ranma ½ AND Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy both have far too many convenient plot holes open to interpretation and story line. The incessant possibilities would surely drive me insane.

Open to anyone crazy enough to accept THIS challenge.


End file.
